Guy gets his thumbs surgically altered for iPhone

[slugbug]

Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."

"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless."

"This is really, on the edge sort of stuff," explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure. "We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency."

The procedure involved making a small incision into both thumbs and shaving down the bones, followed by careful muscular alteration and modification of the fingernails. While Martel's new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift "pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise."

source:http://northdenvernews.com/content/view/922/2/

[the_dope_chaud]

this is so ridiculous, there really is no limit to stupidity!!!

[XJnine]

Guess you didn't read the note at the end:


Editor's Note http://northdenvernews.com/templates/rhuk_solarflare_ii/images/pdf_button.png (http://northdenvernews.com/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=925) http://northdenvernews.com/templates/rhuk_solarflare_ii/images/printButton.png (http://northdenvernews.com/index2.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=925&pop=1&page=0&Itemid=2) http://northdenvernews.com/templates/rhuk_solarflare_ii/images/emailButton.png (http://northdenvernews.com/index2.php?option=com_content&task=emailform&id=925&itemid=2) Written by Guerin Lee Green Saturday, 11 August 2007 Strangely, while many readers have grasped that "Surgically alters thumbs" represents satirical social commentary, many on the internet, alas, have not.
Careful reading of the piece makes it clear to any critical consumer of information that the piece is pure humor and not news or reported as fact.
Among the points of the piece: that U.S. society accepts plastic surgery and decorative deformation of the human body for vanity, but not other reasons (consider the Bonds steroid stories); that technology has become a new cult phenomena, in which items are praised or ridiculed based upon tribal allegiances instead of functionality and performance (and we are members of the Cult of the Mac- iPhone division); and we like to pretend that some of our writers have a sense of humor.
For those who have "debunked" the HUMOR piece, thanks for pointing out that there are no muscles in the thumbs, and that the timeline from iPod release to successful surgery is pure fantasy. Also "whittling"?!?! Come on, pollexplasty, from the Latin for thumb, pollex, perhaps, but not whittling!!
Additionally, many commentators have derided Mr. Martel for stupidity first and foremost, which may indicate something about their credulity. In an era when fake news, like Paris Hilton, has crowded out real news and public debate, the lesson is that skeptical consumption of information, whether from the North Denver News, the New York Times, or the National Review, is a must. By the way, for odd skeptics, the North Denver News is a monthly community newspaper serving Northwest Denver, with about 35,000 readers. The North Denver News is entering our sixth year of publication, and along with our sister paper, The Cherry Creek News, are the largest community news presence in Denver. Our web presence, which features stories from the paper as well as other news, satire and commentary, is updated several times weekly, and will do about a million page views in calendar 2007. FYI, there is no Thomas Martel (aka Tommy the Hammer) or Dr. Ben Fox Spars. The Fox of course, is reference to Fox News (aka Faux News). James Benfly is fictive as well, the nom de plume of one of our writers. And thanks to Franz Kafka, who must be smiling upon this whole episode.

[PP Mguire]

If it WAS real how would it be stupid? If your life depends on small gadgets and you have large fingers or hands its a good idea honestly. If i had big hands and had to work with a PDA or something i would probably do it IF it was real.

[Schwarz]

It could be pratical really.
But this kind of technology is not for now.
One day though I do believe human will have implants such as these.
I'm not even agaisn't the idea of having a chip with your information in it inside your hand or something like that.

[AJ.]

Ah.... I'm sorry, no matter how annoying it could get pressing those little buttons with big fingers this is still ridiculous. He's shaping his life around a phone. Thats sad :lol:

You do know there are phones with bigger buttons. Ah, just my 2 cents.

[Schwarz]

You could always get one of these
http://www.oaktreeent.com/web_photos/Telephones/Motorola_Cellular-One_Cell-Phone_web.jpg

[PP Mguire]

Get a phone with bigger buttons? This thing has a touch screen dude and if your fingers are to big for the screen and touching little icons than it IS practical. Not only that, but phones will either get more technical or smaller. And he wanted the Iphone probably beacsue everything it does. I say, if he has the money and the will go for it. Its just thumbs.

[Schwarz]

Yah but that article isn't true though PPM.

[tyle6]

ive seen a few of these sort of arcticles.... one was about twins that had ones arm removed and attached to the others body. alwell as having all his fingers extended from his brother joints being shortened... some people will make up just about any sort of news to get a rise. it was the same idea though. vanity of body art over function.

[Schwarz]

Yah but I wouldn't mind having a phone inside my hand.
It could be very pratical and you wouldn't be able to lose your phone.

[timberwolf120]

Reminded my of a Simpsons episode where Homer got too fat and his fingers pressed mutliple buttons when he tried to dial a phone number. Then the phone mocked him.

[tyle6]

when we are modifying ourselves to better suit what is marketed there is a problem.... products should fit the consumers need. thats what makes a quality product. im sorry PP but i know consider you an idiot and a slave of marketing in regards the your comment on having this procedure done. go follow your shepard.. he is calling you.