werty316
07-15-2006, 06:00 PM
BBspot has huge list of "Top 11" things from politics to computer related material and holidays. Neat little idea.
Signs Your Computer Was Out Drinking Last Night
11. Everything you saved the night before, your computer has forgotten.
10. It keeps hurling out ever CD you put into it.
9. The computer monitor dims a little every time you click the mouse.
8. Your sound card plays everything at half the speed it should.
7. All error messages read: "A serious error has occured. If you get me through this, I promise I'll never do it again."
6. Your computer automatically adds "I love you man" to your email signature.
5. When playing an MP3, you can hear someone in the background singing karaoke.
4. Whenever you start your computer, it comes up with a message saying, "Firewall?! We don't need no steenking firewall."
3. No matter how you position it, your computer slowly slides off your desk.
2. Your "Start" button changes to "Get 'r Done"
1. You go in the next morning and there's some strange modem lying by your computer.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/07/top-11-drinking-computer.html?from=rss
Signs You Need to Clean Your Keyboard
11. You can turn over keyboard and get a mid-afternoon snack.
10. The layer of dust under the keys doesn't let you press any of them.
9. You used up a brand new vacuum bag and it's still dirty.
8. You can't tell the difference anymore between the NumLock LED and the bioluminescent fungus.
7. The ants have taken the 'w', 'v', and 'Esc' keys.
6. Some of the keys are depressing themselves.
5. You need the drivers and can't tell if it's a Logitech or MS keyboard.
4. You may be typing with the *other* hand, but still... dude!
3. Even the roaches refuse to crawl over it.
2. People ask for a set of rubber gloves before using your computer.
1. Your roommate says he loves your Chia keyboard.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/06/top-11-clean-keyboard.html
Signs You've Gone Too Far Cooling Your Computer
11. Boeing contacts you when their wind tunnel is broken.
10. You spend more on liquid nitrogen than you spend for rent.
9. A break in the water cooler line floods the basement.
8. You have to purchase bigger speakers to hear over the fan noise.
7. Zalman flies you to Vegas once a month for being such a good customer.
6. The kids are using the heat pipes as a cave to play in.
5. The cooling fans are causing your desk to hover.
4. After seeing The Empire Strikes Back you investigate how to get your computer encased in carbonite.
3. You fantasize about operating your computer in the cold of deep space.
2. Ice cream left overnight in your office has not melted.
1. You're causing the Sun to dim.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/05/top-11-cooling-your-computer.html
Video Games You Don't Want Your Kids to Play
11. Xenu Attacks!
10. Tantrum Tantrum Revolution
9. The Sims 2: School Shooting Expansion
8. Uncle Jimmy's Closet
7. Jameson NCAA Orgy 2007
6. Hitman: Sibling Slaughter
5. Sing Along with Courtney Love
4. Mavis Beacon Teaches Credit Card Number Typing
3. Nancy Drew: The Case of the Bloody Panties
2. Elmo Explains that Vibrating Sound Coming from Mommy's Room
1. Forkmen Vs. the Light Sockets
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/05/top-11-video-games-for-kids.html
Reasons to Upgrade to Windows Vista
11. Starting to get bored of Windows 98.
10. Because "Vista" makes more sense than "XP." What the heck was "XP" supposed to mean, anyway?
9. Want to be first on the block to experience security holes.
8. Because keeping an American as the richest person in the world should be everyone's priority.
7. Because if you don't, Steve Jobs might win.
6. They have to get it right eventually, right?
5. Because the new drivers for your video card will only be made for Vista.
4. Need a way to use up some more space on your RAID array.
3. Because a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
2. Because Steve Ballmer tore off the leg of my cubicle mate and bludgeoned me with it until I said I would.
1. Bill Gates will send you ten dollars for every computer you upgrade to Vista. Send this message to ten of your friends!!!!
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/03/top-11-reasons-to-upgrade-to-windows-vista.html
Reasons I Need a Bigger Monitor
11. To make room for more post-it notes.
10. Current desktop will only hold 130 icons.
9. To match my enormous keyboard and mouse.
8. The last monitor I threw only maimed the person.
7. So I can fit more Star Wars action figures on top of it.
6. Old one wasn't big enough to crack open walnuts.
5. The current monitor is more than six months old.
4. Too much empty desk space.
3. So I can complain about how websites aren't created for 2560 pixel wide users.
2. I need something to hide behind.
1. I can never have enough inches.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/03/top-11-reasons-i-need-a-bigger-monitor.html
Signs Your Computer is Possessed
11. It grew a Goatee.
10. There's blood dripping from the case and you haven't installed any hardware recently.
9. Your monitor starts spinning and all the text turns green.
8. "Games" folder suddenly renamed to "Come Play With Us"
7. CD-tray keeps ejecting "The Bible on CD" every time you try to read it.
6. Firewall keeps popping up balloons that read "I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave."
5. Your e-mail account gets suspended for suspected spamming due to 666 messages per day sent to satan@msn.com
4. No matter what you type it all comes out "redrum".
3. You recently inserted a CD from Sony Music.
2. It keeps trying to open port 666 in your firewall.
1. BSOD instructions tell you to say "The power of DOS compels you!" in order to reboot.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/02/top-11-signs-your-computer-is-possessed.html
Signs Your Computer Was Out Drinking Last Night
11. Everything you saved the night before, your computer has forgotten.
10. It keeps hurling out ever CD you put into it.
9. The computer monitor dims a little every time you click the mouse.
8. Your sound card plays everything at half the speed it should.
7. All error messages read: "A serious error has occured. If you get me through this, I promise I'll never do it again."
6. Your computer automatically adds "I love you man" to your email signature.
5. When playing an MP3, you can hear someone in the background singing karaoke.
4. Whenever you start your computer, it comes up with a message saying, "Firewall?! We don't need no steenking firewall."
3. No matter how you position it, your computer slowly slides off your desk.
2. Your "Start" button changes to "Get 'r Done"
1. You go in the next morning and there's some strange modem lying by your computer.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/07/top-11-drinking-computer.html?from=rss
Signs You Need to Clean Your Keyboard
11. You can turn over keyboard and get a mid-afternoon snack.
10. The layer of dust under the keys doesn't let you press any of them.
9. You used up a brand new vacuum bag and it's still dirty.
8. You can't tell the difference anymore between the NumLock LED and the bioluminescent fungus.
7. The ants have taken the 'w', 'v', and 'Esc' keys.
6. Some of the keys are depressing themselves.
5. You need the drivers and can't tell if it's a Logitech or MS keyboard.
4. You may be typing with the *other* hand, but still... dude!
3. Even the roaches refuse to crawl over it.
2. People ask for a set of rubber gloves before using your computer.
1. Your roommate says he loves your Chia keyboard.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/06/top-11-clean-keyboard.html
Signs You've Gone Too Far Cooling Your Computer
11. Boeing contacts you when their wind tunnel is broken.
10. You spend more on liquid nitrogen than you spend for rent.
9. A break in the water cooler line floods the basement.
8. You have to purchase bigger speakers to hear over the fan noise.
7. Zalman flies you to Vegas once a month for being such a good customer.
6. The kids are using the heat pipes as a cave to play in.
5. The cooling fans are causing your desk to hover.
4. After seeing The Empire Strikes Back you investigate how to get your computer encased in carbonite.
3. You fantasize about operating your computer in the cold of deep space.
2. Ice cream left overnight in your office has not melted.
1. You're causing the Sun to dim.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/05/top-11-cooling-your-computer.html
Video Games You Don't Want Your Kids to Play
11. Xenu Attacks!
10. Tantrum Tantrum Revolution
9. The Sims 2: School Shooting Expansion
8. Uncle Jimmy's Closet
7. Jameson NCAA Orgy 2007
6. Hitman: Sibling Slaughter
5. Sing Along with Courtney Love
4. Mavis Beacon Teaches Credit Card Number Typing
3. Nancy Drew: The Case of the Bloody Panties
2. Elmo Explains that Vibrating Sound Coming from Mommy's Room
1. Forkmen Vs. the Light Sockets
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/05/top-11-video-games-for-kids.html
Reasons to Upgrade to Windows Vista
11. Starting to get bored of Windows 98.
10. Because "Vista" makes more sense than "XP." What the heck was "XP" supposed to mean, anyway?
9. Want to be first on the block to experience security holes.
8. Because keeping an American as the richest person in the world should be everyone's priority.
7. Because if you don't, Steve Jobs might win.
6. They have to get it right eventually, right?
5. Because the new drivers for your video card will only be made for Vista.
4. Need a way to use up some more space on your RAID array.
3. Because a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
2. Because Steve Ballmer tore off the leg of my cubicle mate and bludgeoned me with it until I said I would.
1. Bill Gates will send you ten dollars for every computer you upgrade to Vista. Send this message to ten of your friends!!!!
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/03/top-11-reasons-to-upgrade-to-windows-vista.html
Reasons I Need a Bigger Monitor
11. To make room for more post-it notes.
10. Current desktop will only hold 130 icons.
9. To match my enormous keyboard and mouse.
8. The last monitor I threw only maimed the person.
7. So I can fit more Star Wars action figures on top of it.
6. Old one wasn't big enough to crack open walnuts.
5. The current monitor is more than six months old.
4. Too much empty desk space.
3. So I can complain about how websites aren't created for 2560 pixel wide users.
2. I need something to hide behind.
1. I can never have enough inches.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/03/top-11-reasons-i-need-a-bigger-monitor.html
Signs Your Computer is Possessed
11. It grew a Goatee.
10. There's blood dripping from the case and you haven't installed any hardware recently.
9. Your monitor starts spinning and all the text turns green.
8. "Games" folder suddenly renamed to "Come Play With Us"
7. CD-tray keeps ejecting "The Bible on CD" every time you try to read it.
6. Firewall keeps popping up balloons that read "I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave."
5. Your e-mail account gets suspended for suspected spamming due to 666 messages per day sent to satan@msn.com
4. No matter what you type it all comes out "redrum".
3. You recently inserted a CD from Sony Music.
2. It keeps trying to open port 666 in your firewall.
1. BSOD instructions tell you to say "The power of DOS compels you!" in order to reboot.
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/02/top-11-signs-your-computer-is-possessed.html