slugbug
07-15-2006, 11:38 PM
FARTHEST AWAY Two blondes living in Texas were sitting on a bench talking
and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther
away...Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Hellooo, can
you see Florida?
CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you
guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on
his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We
were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be
the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her
blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one
was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs
like that?" "Hellooo," answered the blonde, "They're watch dogs."
and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther
away...Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Hellooo, can
you see Florida?
CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you
guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on
his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We
were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be
the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her
blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one
was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs
like that?" "Hellooo," answered the blonde, "They're watch dogs."