Toilet Blog #1 – Rated R

[Blackjaw]

So I thought I would share an email that I sent to my coworkers back in June. I occasionally have a remarkable bowel movement that I must share with others. I could honestly do a blog just about my experiences in the bathroom (but that would cut into gaming time). Let me know if I should keep this stuff with my coworkers.


------ Forwarded Message
From: Blackjaw
Date: Fri, 09 Jun 2006 14:43:10 -0400
To:
Cc:
Subject: Re: <no subject>

When I was off last week, I had **** that felt like it was coming out a better part of the day. Finally, it had crowned to a point that delivery was absolutely necessary. I knew I would need some lengthy reading material, so I grabbed the new PC Gamer and headed for the porcelain altar. I relaxed as best as I knew how, invoking Tibetan “Oms” and other hippie bull**** positive thinking. This damn log had to come out now. I squeezed for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was probably under a minute. In that minute, I know I came dangerously close to the aneurysm line. It finally came out with an audible grunt, followed by a sigh of relief. Dear God, I need to eat more fiber. So I looked in there expecting to see a marble sized turd with light just barely escaping its gravity pull...well, what I saw sort of choked me up. I managed to shat a completely intact log that bent perfectly into the hole and managed to break the surface of the water a good 2 inches at the other end. It sort of looked like I had tried to flush a chocolate Labrador retriever down the toilet, but its tail didn’t quite make it. With no one to tell, I immediately told my wife about it. It was kind of sad, she didn’t truly appreciate the moment or the fact that maybe we should have taken a picture of it.

[Das Capitolin]

Ok, I think this is well under the line which I call humor. It wasn't even interesting. You have serious issues Blackjaw. Seek help, buddy.

[Blackjaw]

Sorry. Mod can delete at will. I will seek help ASAP.

[GIBSON]

Well, it's good written but not really funny. What was your co-workers' reaction? :mrgreen:

[werty316]

Ok,... that was weird...

[Blackjaw]

To be honest, they love my dissertations on bathroom happenings. I guess it is just a different audience here. So this brings me to a theory. Could region dictate what someone might find humorous? Meaning, does the east coast find something amusing that someone on the west coast would not think it is funny at all. Maybe someone in the midwest might find it appalling? Just curious. I find lots of things that are humorous. I range from Adam Sandler, Brian Reagan, old school Eddie Murphy, Prarie Home Companion, Don Rickles, Crl Alt Dlt, Doodie.com, The Onion, The Daily Show, Adult Swim, Conan, etc. I think I am well rounded, but I often don't laugh at a majority of comedians.

My wife doesn't get these moments that I have, maybe they are to immature for her tastes. In fact, she thinks my writing is bizarre and over the top. But ususally what she finds funny, I don't think is funny at all. I guess why I find this stuff amusing is that it actually happened. Reality is just so strange sometimes.

I have a short I am working on about sledding with my brother as a kid. I will post when I am done. Not the frat boy kind of humor at the email post above, so maybe a wider audience will appreciate.

Once again, sorry if I didn't amuse.

[tomato]

I have a weak stomach, so this story was more disgusting than funny to me :( To each their own I guess

[Das Capitolin]

So this brings me to a theory. Could region dictate what someone might find humorous? Meaning, does the east coast find something amusing that someone on the west coast would not think it is funny at all. Maybe someone in the midwest might find it appalling? Just curious. I find lots of things that are humorous. I range from Adam Sandler, Brian Reagan, old school Eddie Murphy, Prarie Home Companion, Don Rickles, Crl Alt Dlt, Doodie.com, The Onion, The Daily Show, Adult Swim, Conan, etc. I think I am well rounded, but I often don't laugh at a majority of comedians.

Well, from a west coast perspective, I see no real difference. Everyone has their own tastes. I really love the comedy from: Richard Pryor, old Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, to name a few. I think that is just I would prefer not reading about your dump.

On another note, I was a stand-up comedian that toured the state with a few other guys for a while. I have my own sense of humor; I call it sarcastic intellectual.

[GIBSON]

To be honest, they love my dissertations on bathroom happenings. I guess it is just a different audience here. So this brings me to a theory. Could region dictate what someone might find humorous? Meaning, does the east coast find something amusing that someone on the west coast would not think it is funny at all. Maybe someone in the midwest might find it appalling? Just curious. I find lots of things that are humorous. I range from Adam Sandler, Brian Reagan, old school Eddie Murphy, Prarie Home Companion, Don Rickles, Crl Alt Dlt, Doodie.com, The Onion, The Daily Show, Adult Swim, Conan, etc. I think I am well rounded, but I often don't laugh at a majority of comedians.

My wife doesn't get these moments that I have, maybe they are to immature for her tastes. In fact, she thinks my writing is bizarre and over the top. But ususally what she finds funny, I don't think is funny at all. I guess why I find this stuff amusing is that it actually happened. Reality is just so strange sometimes.

I have a short I am working on about sledding with my brother as a kid. I will post when I am done. Not the frat boy kind of humor at the email post above, so maybe a wider audience will appreciate.

Once again, sorry if I didn't amuse.
Well I do think that there are differences between regions concerning humour. And some people can appreciate a lot broader range of humour than others as well. It might just be that this one "toilet blog" you posted is a lesser one than the others you might have sent to your co-workers. As to say, they might find them funny on average, but this particular one lesser.

[Blackjaw]

Ah yes, I tried a day without sarcasm once. I cried about it for the next week straight.

Gibson: Perhaps, but we are pretty honest and will flame one another if someone is unfunny. Criticism is always present in the advertising industry.

[GIBSON]

Ah yes, I tried a day without sarcasm once. I cried about it for the next week straight.

Gibson: Perhaps, but we are pretty honest and will flame one another if someone is unfunny. Criticism is always present in the advertising industry.
Heh, seems like I'm not the only one loving sarcasm :lol: The funniest things is when people don't even get the sarcasm when you say something. Or there is this one smartass in the group who gets it and starts to smile/laugh while the others look puzzled. :mrgreen:

[Das Capitolin]

Heh, seems like I'm not the only one loving sarcasm :lol: The funniest things is when people don't even get the sarcasm when you say something. Or there is this one smartass in the group who gets it and starts to smile/laugh while the others look puzzled. :mrgreen:

And is it just me or do the people who don't appreciate sarcasm get their feelings hurt easier then those of us who do?

[GIBSON]

And is it just me or do the people who don't appreciate sarcasm get their feelings hurt easier then those of us who do?
Well sure they do. Your kind of thinking in a circle there Das! :mrgreen: As they don't appreciate it, they can't laugh with it, therefore can't put it into perspective, and therefore are easier hurt.

[Blackjaw]

People actually ask me if I am feeling okay if I don't respond with some kind of sarcastic remark during the day. I be a jerk, and I am okay with that.

[Assassin]

This is just disturbing but i could see how it would be funny to certain people...

[Enigmachine]

Ok, that was pretty sad.

I hope this is not a sign that the forum is going down the toilet...

[Kougar]

Ok, that was pretty sad.

I hope this is not a sign that the forum is going down the toilet...

:o

:x

:evil:

[Rob]

Hey I thought it was great! Nothing beats a good dump in my book. Well....except for one thing. Heh! :P

Congrats on the water-breaker...that's quite an accomplishment.